Brokenhearted

I'm okay.  Me and the babes are fine. But a lovely lady here at work lost her baby last week, and I just found out. She is 43, and even though it was an “oops” baby, her and her hubby were just starting to get excited about it. I feel so bad, I didn’t even know and just burst into her office asking how she was feeling. I cried for an hour. God, what an awful thing to go through. She was 15 weeks, too.

Man this sucks. Now I’m worried all over again. After feeling confident enough to have a glass of tea every day, and I’ve started buying baby clothes. Now paranoia has set in again. I know my odds of loss are much lower than hers, being my donor is only 31. But still, it seems if it was something genetic, she would have lost it before 12 weeks.

I’m not panicking or anything. I just wish my next appointment wasn’t so far away (3 weeks). Some days I feel huge, and others just a little overweight. Someone told me today I looked skinny (from the back!). I just wish they would start moving. I can hear them on Doppler, but I wish I knew how big they were or that they were swimming around in there. I know they are, I’m just po’d because I was feeling so good there for awhile.

She has the same name as C. It sucks that I don’t know what to say to someone that’s had a loss. Especially since I’ve had two of my own. It’s because I know there is nothing that you can say. Except that I’m so, so sorry.

Comments

[Milenka]

*hugs*